heartbreak

[Sharkboyyy!]

My fiancée went to college, made a small group of friends, and in one week became a completely different person.
In literally three days she went from being excited for me to see her and always so excited to talking to me to not wanting to talk to/see/be with me at all.
This was all the past week, too.
Worst part is, she won't talk to me so I don't even know if we're together.

Literally the exact same thing happening to me right now. Minus the fiancee part.

[Pete > You]

Isn't there some C.S. Lewis quote about how being sad isn't just being sad, it's knowing that you will wake up every day and be sad and be reminded why you are sad?

[ghostknifer]

take solace in the fact that, generally, life is so horrible that probabilistically, they will suffer as much as you. hate them as much as possible. listen to occult death metal.

[Arkaic]

I've been through breakups and relationships before. It just so happened that one of them ended up fucking me up a lot more than the others could ever come close to doing. This was around two years ago. I was twenty pounds lighter, a lot skinnier, I barely ate and I never slept. I'd only eat once every two days and sleep once every three for about thirty minutes to an hour at most. I slept on sidewalks, chased traffic, walked miles and miles into the city and went back home at 4 in the morning. I was in a shitty apartment catching rent money from my father up in Manila. Since my mother moved out, I was living alone. Well, just me and my dog who I would like to thank for helping me stay afloat. At that time, I'd lie in bed, stare at the ceiling, listen to the morning traffic, waiting for something to happen. Nothing ever happens. Clock hands continued to move forward but I knew then and there that my heart would always remain stuck.

I had depression for about a year following my mom's deteriorating relationship with my father at the time. Apart from that I was also nursing an ailing long distance relationship which inevitably ended in failure. My interpersonal relationships were all teetering over the proverbial edge and I was doing horribly in college. It's been years since 2008 and I feel no different than I did when I was roaming the streets. I don't know. I might be more stable but it took me the greater part of 2009 and a whole lot of counseling to get my head straightened out. I think I'm doing a lot better with the way I see myself and my relationships with people are doing really well. I think I deal with things a whole lot better now. It's all a matter of perspective. I really had to work with my own mindset to get me to where I stand now.

As for that girl, I miss her a whole lot though. I still read her blog from time to time. I never really stopped thinking about her. Maybe because I think it deserves a second chance, I don't know.

Okay, fuck this I want her back.

....damn.

Makes my situation of the past year look like a walk in a park.

Anyways, break ups really screw something up inside of you forever, and sometimes maybe for the better. I used to just rail against her in my mind following the break up, finding every fault and blame in her for the reasons she gave for ending the relationship. Lately, though, I've been letting go of that indignation and settled on the realization that I was pretty much driving her away with my own selfish amateurish personality. Now, I'd think back to some of the things I would do back when we were together that just didn't make a shitload of sense in retrospect. I mean wtf, no one ever learns anything until they've felt the loss, and often long after the fact. There is always room to grow.

Music:
prior to breakup: all things 80s thrash metal. I had long "grown out of" my skram phase.
afterwards (the last 15 months): straight up skramzz

[forzamadrid]

She'd been my classmate for two years. She would tease me about me being secretly in love with her. She's hug me, pretend to kiss me, shit like that, even though she was in a relationship with another guy. Obviously, I was annoyed. But I didn't hate her. She was one of the nicest girls in our batch of 53, graduated salutatorian, a teacher's favorite, devout christian and shit. She was the type you copied notes and asked favors from. She listened to pretty cool non-skramz, non-metal music, wrote well, was extremely smart, liberal. She was everything I wanted in a girl, except for the extroversion, empathy, and positivity she had, and the fact that I wasn't attracted to her then.

It was on some afternoon in January 2010 that I fell in love with her. She was a dancer in a cheering competition, and I was a yeller(guy who sits behind the dancers, yelling shit cheers). I was watching her dance, dancing, her curls flying around her when in a split second I realized I was looking at her in a different light. I realized what had happened a few days later, when she was presenting a report in front of class, and I couldn't take my eyes out off her.

I'd known her for years, and of the girls from our batch I was closest to her. She wasn't the stunningly attractive type. I didn't fall for her looks. I've been in a relationship, and have had several crushes. I know the distinction between infatuation and love. This was love.

Fast forward around two weeks later and I discovered she's in an "it's complicated" relationship with her ex's best friend. She brings him around for parties, school activities, and was even with her in the prom. The guy studies Engineering at Harvard or Yale's equivalent in the Philippines, graduated from a state-run high school whose students have IQs of 120 and up, and is in a post-hardcore band.


The rest of the story I could write an Indie movie about. There was drama, shit, more shit, tears, and Elliott Smith. For a while I thought I was over it, but just a few weeks later we met again when we visited our high school. And now, this thread.

I can't imagine forever with anybody else who isn't her.

[loveinathens]

I stopped listening to hardcore after my last breakup. End/of.

[Jakey LIAF]

She'd been my classmate for two years. She would tease me about me being secretly in love with her. She's hug me, pretend to kiss me, shit like that, even though she was in a relationship with another guy. Obviously, I was annoyed. But I didn't hate her. She was one of the nicest girls in our batch of 53, graduated salutatorian, a teacher's favorite, devout christian and shit. She was the type you copied notes and asked favors from. She listened to pretty cool non-skramz, non-metal music, wrote well, was extremely smart, liberal. She was everything I wanted in a girl, except for the extroversion, empathy, and positivity she had, and the fact that I wasn't attracted to her then.

It was on some afternoon in January 2010 that I fell in love with her. She was a dancer in a cheering competition, and I was a yeller(guy who sits behind the dancers, yelling shit cheers). I was watching her dance, dancing, her curls flying around her when in a split second I realized I was looking at her in a different light. I realized what had happened a few days later, when she was presenting a report in front of class, and I couldn't take my eyes out off her.

I'd known her for years, and of the girls from our batch I was closest to her. She wasn't the stunningly attractive type. I didn't fall for her looks. I've been in a relationship, and have had several crushes. I know the distinction between infatuation and love. This was love.

Fast forward around two weeks later and I discovered she's in an "it's complicated" relationship with her ex's best friend. She brings him around for parties, school activities, and was even with her in the prom. The guy studies Engineering at Harvard or Yale's equivalent in the Philippines, graduated from a state-run high school whose students have IQs of 120 and up, and is in a post-hardcore band.


The rest of the story I could write an Indie movie about. There was drama, shit, more shit, tears, and Elliott Smith. For a while I thought I was over it, but just a few weeks later we met again when we visited our high school. And now, this thread.

I can't imagine forever with anybody else who isn't her.

your situation is unique, man, but is definitely one that's familiar. i'm guessing you're young, though. coming from someone who was also in love with their best gal pal throughout school, though...great chemistry isn't just found in only one person in your lifetime. my past love, we had a lot in common and for years i thought i'd never get over her rejecting the obvious connection we had, but since then (a span of eight years) i have met a few women that i am definitely more suited to than her. i hate to be that guy who is basically mirroring the sentiment of "you'll get over it," but you will.

plus, if she dates her ex-boyfriend's best friend, that sets off alarms immediately. shit is dirty.

[Charon]

Charles Bronson and colossal amounts of green will see you through. Fact.

[thebigmin]

I've had too many and I'll never get over any of them

[ghostknifer]

She'd been my classmate for two years. She would tease me about me being secretly in love with her. She's hug me, pretend to kiss me, shit like that, even though she was in a relationship with another guy. Obviously, I was annoyed. But I didn't hate her. She was one of the nicest girls in our batch of 53, graduated salutatorian, a teacher's favorite, devout christian and shit. She was the type you copied notes and asked favors from. She listened to pretty cool non-skramz, non-metal music, wrote well, was extremely smart, liberal. She was everything I wanted in a girl, except for the extroversion, empathy, and positivity she had, and the fact that I wasn't attracted to her then.
...

so you were never actually involved with the person? cmon. this some high school bull, get over it