Girl problems

[FANTASTIC WOUND]

Need a hand guys. Here's the story: I dated this girl for three years. We broke up eight or nine months ago. I've never been much of one for social interaction, so she was essentially my world. Now that she's gone, I have nothing. Seriously. Our relationship was toxic, but this hurts worse. The last time we spoke and I explained this, she actually quoted Saetia: "It's better to be stepped on than left all alone". And I was all, "Don't quote the bard to me, you bitch. I introduced you to that shit." But I digress. The point is, I am still hopelessly stuck on her. I think about her constantly every day, while she has her own better life now. We have absolutely no contact, despite my periodic trying. She just ignore me. So the question: how do I move on? I tried just hooking up with randoms, but nothing compared. I find it impossible to connect with anyone, not to mention the inherent difficulty of meeting people when you're a shut-in. It's consuming me, and I'm sick of it. Wat do?

[ingoodhands]

You have friends at least right? Hang with them and listen to Latterman. Maybe try to meet new people? Sounds like you've sorta tried that though.

You could also maybe start doing things that would help you feel better physically and mentally if you don't do that stuff already. Like cutting junk food and pop, running, lifting, getting enough sleep(not too much though!), etc.

[FANTASTIC WOUND]

You have friends at least right? Hang with them and listen to Latterman. Maybe try to meet new people? Sounds like you've sorta tried that though.

You could also maybe start doing things that would help you feel better physically and mentally if you don't do that stuff already. Like cutting junk food and pop, running, lifting, getting enough sleep(not too much though!), etc.

Actually, I don't have friends. That's why I was saying I've had no social calls. Thing is, I don't know HOW to meet new people. I can't meet anyone through friends, obviously, and it seems odd and up front to me if I were to just go to a coffeeshop and strike up conversation. I know when people do that to me it weirds me out.

[ingoodhands]

Yeah I definitely get what you're saying but I find it hard to believe you absolutely have NO friends. Maybe there's some people you haven't talked with for a while that you could call up? Not this facebook shit, like actually call them up and talk to them. If you absolutely have 0 friends start making some at places you frequent. Are there shows in your area? Strike up conversation with someone you've seen at a show if you ever run into them at another. Start going to the gym if you're interested in that idea of self improvement. Ask for help from someone on a lift you don't get and BAM you just met someone. Do you have a job, are the people you work with cool? Mention maybe hanging out with them sometime and see what their reactions like. There's a bunch of things you could do dude!

[FANTASTIC WOUND]

Yeah I definitely get what you're saying but I find it hard to believe you absolutely have NO friends. Maybe there's some people you haven't talked with for a while that you could call up? Not this facebook shit, like actually call them up and talk to them. If you absolutely have 0 friends start making some at places you frequent. Are there shows in your area? Strike up conversation with someone you've seen at a show if you ever run into them at another. Start going to the gym if you're interested in that idea of self improvement. Ask for help from someone on a lift you don't get and BAM you just met someone. Do you have a job, are the people you work with cool? Mention maybe hanging out with them sometime and see what their reactions like. There's a bunch of things you could do dude!

See, the thing is, this was a very codependent relationship. We both forsook all other social interaction in favour of spending time with one another. As such, I didn't really cultivate any friendships. There were people I considered my friends, but they were fair-weather to say the least. It's been made clear to me that I am unwelcome in the social circles I know of. I do go to shows on occasion, and that's my only chance for social interaction. However, I know the majority of the people at these things. I'm not on bad terms with them per se, but as stated before, I'm not exactly desired in their cliques. I go alone, talk to a few select people for maybe two minutes at a time before they rejoin their larger more fun groups, then leave alone. I often feel worse after trying than I did before I went. As for a job, not currently. I'm volunteering, but it's with kids, and I don't think I'm quite desperate/creepy enough to hang out with eight-year-olds.

[retlawlliw]

i'm in a similar situation, in the sense that its a shitty as fuck situation with a girl. about a year and a half ago i met this girl, it was at a party and she was tripping acid i was sober and we just started talking. she ended up becoming obsessed with me on that night, we kissed, and we began dating the next day. the first few months were incredible, never one argument and we could have the best times ever just hanging out with each other doing nothing. eventually she started drinking a lot, even on week days, by herself. one day she texted me while in class, she was drunk in class and i broke up with her because alcohol was taking her over and i couldn't stand it. i regret that decision to this very day because after that she spiraled down and i never really lost my feelings for her. last time i saw her she was tripping acid (she does it a lot now apparently) and she tried to kiss me. i don't want to indulge in another relationship with her again due to her frequent alcohol/ drug use, but i can't get rid of those feelings i've had for her. wat do?

[FANTASTIC WOUND]

i'm in a similar situation, in the sense that its a shitty as fuck situation with a girl. about a year and a half ago i met this girl, it was at a party and she was tripping acid i was sober and we just started talking. she ended up becoming obsessed with me on that night, we kissed, and we began dating the next day. the first few months were incredible, never one argument and we could have the best times ever just hanging out with each other doing nothing. eventually she started drinking a lot, even on week days, by herself. one day she texted me while in class, she was drunk in class and i broke up with her because alcohol was taking her over and i couldn't stand it. i regret that decision to this very day because after that she spiraled down and i never really lost my feelings for her. last time i saw her she was tripping acid (she does it a lot now apparently) and she tried to kiss me. i don't want to indulge in another relationship with her again due to her frequent alcohol/ drug use, but i can't get rid of those feelings i've had for her. wat do?

Well, it sounds like she might still like you. Have you tried talking to her when she's sober?

[FANTASTIC WOUND]

Yeah I definitely get what you're saying but I find it hard to believe you absolutely have NO friends. Maybe there's some people you haven't talked with for a while that you could call up? Not this facebook shit, like actually call them up and talk to them. If you absolutely have 0 friends start making some at places you frequent. Are there shows in your area? Strike up conversation with someone you've seen at a show if you ever run into them at another. Start going to the gym if you're interested in that idea of self improvement. Ask for help from someone on a lift you don't get and BAM you just met someone. Do you have a job, are the people you work with cool? Mention maybe hanging out with them sometime and see what their reactions like. There's a bunch of things you could do dude!

See, the thing is, this was a very codependent relationship. We both forsook all other social interaction in favour of spending time with one another. As such, I didn't really cultivate any friendships. There were people I considered my friends, but they were fair-weather to say the least. It's been made clear to me that I am unwelcome in the social circles I know of. I do go to shows on occasion, and that's my only chance for social interaction. However, I know the majority of the people at these things. I'm not on bad terms with them per se, but as stated before, I'm not exactly desired in their cliques. I go alone, talk to a few select people for maybe two minutes at a time before they rejoin their larger more fun groups, then leave alone. I often feel worse after trying than I did before I went. As for a job, not currently. I'm volunteering, but it's with kids, and I don't think I'm quite desperate/creepy enough to hang out with eight-year-olds.

I just realized I'm shooting down all the help that's being offered. I apologize. I really do appreciate it. It's just hard to see solutions when I'm so stuck in this mindset.

[retlawlliw]

i'm in a similar situation, in the sense that its a shitty as fuck situation with a girl. about a year and a half ago i met this girl, it was at a party and she was tripping acid i was sober and we just started talking. she ended up becoming obsessed with me on that night, we kissed, and we began dating the next day. the first few months were incredible, never one argument and we could have the best times ever just hanging out with each other doing nothing. eventually she started drinking a lot, even on week days, by herself. one day she texted me while in class, she was drunk in class and i broke up with her because alcohol was taking her over and i couldn't stand it. i regret that decision to this very day because after that she spiraled down and i never really lost my feelings for her. last time i saw her she was tripping acid (she does it a lot now apparently) and she tried to kiss me. i don't want to indulge in another relationship with her again due to her frequent alcohol/ drug use, but i can't get rid of those feelings i've had for her. wat do?

Well, it sounds like she might still like you. Have you tried talking to her when she's sober?

not in a while. i doubt she does still like me, i'm sure any intimate moves she has made on me after we broke up have been only because she is drunk as fuck. i've talked to her about how i can't stand her frequent alcohol use but its always the same bull shit, "i don't have any alcohol problems, i can quit when ever" yada yada yada. she is kind of a teenage alcoholic. i'm wondering if i would be happier with out her, being that i wouldn't have to deal with her being a drunk loser all the time. i feel like either way i'm fucked, hell yeah. i'm down with drinking and getting high thats all good fun but not when its you need that shit to have fun, and thats her basic outlook on life ever since we broke up

[wounderaser]

i had a similar experience, except i wasn't caught up on my ex for too long. it's funny because she used an american football quote when we broke up, i showed her that band. i just fucked lots of girls, hung out with my friends every day and kept myself occupied. you get over it. i am weird with girls, i am more sad over the girl i just stopped dating than that year long relationship i threw away. oh well, stay positive.