LONG LIVE CMHWAK

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Eric
Posts: 186
Joined: Thu Jun 10, 2010 1:10 pm
Location: san francisco

LONG LIVE CMHWAK

Post by Eric »

it was a beautiful day outside as jakie liaf stood in the airport with his backpack awaiting for his -\--' to arrive headed for orinda. ajay liaf was supposed to be here with him, but jakie was unable to rescue him from the horny clutches of the psi kappa delta sorority who had tied him to their master bed for sexual purposes. "now boarding, flight 580 to california" the loudspeaker said.

jakie clutched his boarding pass when all of a sudden a solid gold jet -\--' flew onto the runway. the sound system could be heard from inside and it was playing i spoke. jakie ran out to see the commotion and all of a sudden, the bigmin stepped from the hatch and hollered out "SCENE LOVE!" to jakie. jakie returned the props and the stairs came down, allowing him to board bigmin's private jet.

when he got inside, jakie saw matt, al ex, andrewfuncrew, commit it, dakota, eric, evan, Pete > You, and thefleshisweak. they were decked out in ralph lauren and lacoste polos and seven jeans. jakie looked down at his clothing and was wearing seven jeans and a slapshot hoodie. he smiled and took his hoodie off to reveal the crocodile emblem, and everyone threw up the bigmin sign of approval.

"sups!" said andrewfuncrew. "sups!" said jakie liaf. bigmin took a seat on one of 12 leather sofas on the -\--'. jakie was puzzled. "who's driving the -\--'?"

from the cockpit, someone shouted "THERE IS NO HAPPY HERE!" and then the door opened to reveal BILLY SAETIA!!111 it was cool so the gang sipped on some of the finest champagne ever made and continued the flight to the screamo capital of the world.

once everyone had arrived and was off the -\--' at the bigmin mansion, there was no time to waste. the visiting SCENE LOVE representatives from arizona, the east coast, and the dirty south all put their things in each individual 3-story guest house that the bigmin had provided them and then boarded the seeing means more lamborghini tour bus. when inside, one of eric's 8 cell phones rang, and the ringtone was playing sailboats.

"shit, that's my 'important people only' cell phone, lemme peep this clutch motherfucker." he said and then answered it. "sups! oh shit! yeah man we can run by and pick you up on teh way. no prob man, cya."

the lamborghini tour bus sped off and when they were almost in la (which in the lamborghini tour bus with hyper jets from orinda to la only took 30 seconds) they stopped at a mansion with big platinum dollar signs on it made of solid diamonds. no one knew who we were picking up except the orinda kids, so we were all anxious to see. out of the mansion rolled 50 cent and andre 3000! 50 cent came in and threw up the bigmin sign, as well as dre. "hey ya'll, hope you don't mind i brought the coolest member of outkast with me." said 50. "it's tight." said thefleshisweak.

the gang rolled up into the club and got in automatically because they were all glowing with SCENE CHARISMA and you could tell. when they got in the club they all ordered drinks and scoped the babe scene. there were a lot of mint bitches in the crowd but also some wintergreens which was not RIDE BIKES. all the crew simultaneously lit up newports and the presence of scene hatorade was felt when die all peacocks, and okwait from lsp came holding hands and having big smiles as they approached the group.

"YOU GUYS ARE SUCH FUCKING FAGGOTS!" said okwait, a real rocket scientist and man with incredible use of diction.

"yeah you sux0rz." agreed die all peacocks. "we are proof that you don't need SCENE UNITY to score with girls, check those girls out there, they've been dancing with us the whole night!"

the SCENE LOVE/UNITY dudes looked over at the aforementioned girls who were really cross dressers. "girls don't usually have adam's apples or penises that protrude from wal-mart miniskirts" stated Pete > You, a clever observationist. the others laughed as okwait and die all peacocks got really mad because they fucking suck at everything. we got tired of their shit so 50 cent took a bottle full of bub and clocked okwait over teh head with it and knocked him out. then andre 3000 went "HEY-YA!" and spinkicked die all peacocks' head off then did floorpunches for added measure.

then, over teh club pa, phoenix bodies started playing. the truck showed up and was like, "i don't want my band in your fucking retarded story" so instead the club started playing city of caterpillar. but, the fun was not ready to begin for the SCENE LOVE yet because about 20 sexually-deprived indie sluts who are regulars on lipstickparty came dressed in vintage diy thrift store garb. their pussies smelled of week-old tuna melt and were definately not cruc.

some random broad spoke up. "SCENE LOVE is retarded and quit making stupid threads about it on our board so there is more room for threads about people who are annoying and shitty movies no one cares..." her sentence was cut short due to a giant grand piano coming through the wall and crushing them dead. lizzyjagger and audreyjune came out of the bathroom and were like, "hey what happened to our friends?" "a piano fell on them" said jakie liaf. "oh okay that's cool, they fucking smell anyway." and then the two girls joined the party, gaining 135 exp for the group.

mint babes were then spotted looking at the SCENE LOVE/UNITY posse. included were the dallas cowboys cheerleaders, hilary duff, tiffani-amber thiessen, pamela anderson, gena lee nolin, stacy keibler, and all the playboy centerfolds from the year 2003-2004. in loving memory started playing and everyone got their asses shakin on the dance floor. then, bigmin was like, "hey, let's go to my vip room they have specifically made for me at the hottest dance club in the universe." so they did.

SCENE LOVE then wasted no time in getting down to business with the girls. since the ladies outnumbered the guys, the guys had to pull double and even triple duty which was fine, because it allowed them to exercise their SCENE ENDURANCE. all the girls' vaginas quivered with an almost seizure-like intensity (pig destroyer rules) as it was like a well-choreographed dance pit crew stomp routine with the gang...except sex. they all smoothly rubbed the women's big voloptuous tits and orgasms were happening at an alarming rate of 1 every .3 seconds. there was also hardcore making out as the music went from alison ranger to the pine to HUGS to native nod. suddenly, the cosmic forces aligned to disrupt the time/space continuum and all of the girls orgasmed at once, causing them all to pass out with joy.

each SCENE LOVE member lit up newports again and were all kinda pissed that they had given and not received. all the other mint girls had left the club, so what were they to do?

"look!" said matt with a line. "up in the sky!" oh i forgot to mention that bigmin's vip room also has a glass roof.

suddenly, ajay liaf can be seen flying around over the club, with about 20 sorority girls hanging off from his bulbous nuts! "sup d00ds!" yelled ajay with a godly voice. he swooped down and all the girls introduced themselves. handshakes were traded and then everyone started fucking for six days straight because that's how long it takes people with expertise in SCENE TACTICS to reach climax.

and then arnold schwartzenegger officially declared orinda the screamo capital of teh world, seeing means more reunited adn got signed to victory along with life is a fight and did a world tour, and matt with a line moved the hell out of alabama because it sucks there.

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neck_cannon
Posts: 1265
Joined: Tue May 04, 2010 3:08 pm

Re: LONG LIVE CMHWAK

Post by neck_cannon »

matt lives in atlanta now

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thebigmin
Posts: 1570
Joined: Thu Jun 10, 2010 1:10 pm
Location: Los Angeles, Ca
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Re: LONG LIVE CMHWAK

Post by thebigmin »

ORINDA FOREVER

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trent_pee
Posts: 147
Joined: Thu Jun 10, 2010 5:45 pm
Location: Des Moines, Iowa
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Re: LONG LIVE CMHWAK

Post by trent_pee »

I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR SO LONG FOR THIS STORY TO RESURFACE. THANK YOU

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Pete > You
Posts: 1662
Joined: Thu Jun 10, 2010 6:01 pm
Location: Tennessee
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Re: LONG LIVE CMHWAK

Post by Pete > You »

So much history. So many things coming back to me. :cry:

EvanOrinda
Posts: 18
Joined: Thu Jun 10, 2010 5:50 pm

Re: LONG LIVE CMHWAK

Post by EvanOrinda »

One day I will produce Blap Cam presents CMHWAK SCENE UNITY as told by Jakie liaf, narrated by Morgan Freeman. Shot by shot - line by line. Each character played by themselves, even Andre 3000 and The Truck. Mark my words!

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Yetisnacks
Posts: 101
Joined: Thu Jun 10, 2010 10:27 pm

Re: LONG LIVE CMHWAK

Post by Yetisnacks »

thebigmin wrote:ORINDA FOREVER

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