Girl problems

[FANTASTIC WOUND]

Ok, so it was probably emotional problems and drinking that made you do something drastic like leave her (no offense, but you did say you were always drunk)... unless...

Did she do something that made her deserve to be left... and now you're just lonely and are regretting the decision.

Pete was kind of right. You don't need a codependent relationship. It's bad. It's not better to be stepped on than left all alone.

She was really emotionally abusive. I guess we both were, in different ways. I at least felt like I was trying to be mature, communicative, and trying make things work. She just hid from all our problems. Also, she was constantly belittling me around other people and she didn't care for my peace of mind. Like, she'd go out on a night when I had to work the next day, say she'd be home by ten, then not show up until 3:00 without any word, all fucked up and without her key. She did that EVERY DAY. It was a fundamental lack of respect on her part, I think. She didn't care if she worried me.

[thesilentarmy]

Ok, so it was probably emotional problems and drinking that made you do something drastic like leave her (no offense, but you did say you were always drunk)... unless...

Did she do something that made her deserve to be left... and now you're just lonely and are regretting the decision.

Pete was kind of right. You don't need a codependent relationship. It's bad. It's not better to be stepped on than left all alone.

She was really emotionally abusive. I guess we both were, in different ways. I at least felt like I was trying to be mature, communicative, and trying make things work. She just hid from all our problems. Also, she was constantly belittling me around other people and she didn't care for my peace of mind. Like, she'd go out on a night when I had to work the next day, say she'd be home by ten, then not show up until 3:00 without any word, all fucked up and without her key. She did that EVERY DAY. It was a fundamental lack of respect on her part, I think. She didn't care if she worried me.

I had a girlfriend like that. It was so perfect at first, and she became my fiance way too quickly. Over time, she just started taking me for granted and treating me like shit. It was hard for me to forget how good it was in the past and accept, "It's fucking shitty. This girl doesn't give a fuck about me, ignores me, hangs up on me, tells me to fuck off, and blah blah blah."

The thing is... You have to look back and be like, "That bitch cheated me out of all that time. I put a lot of myself into her, and she just didn't give a fuck after a while. Fuck her." Don't try to get vengeance or anything. Just accept it. You need to stop feeling pain because you love her and start feeling pain because you fell for the wrong person. Then you can start to heal.

[Gnarlin Gnartree]

Yeah, maybe get your drinking together, but fuck AA. They'll just tell you that you're weak and can't do it without submitting yourself to a power higher than yourself.

Drinking and emotional problems is why LOTS of girls leave...

I was suggesting AA as a way for him to make friends, not necessarily get clean, but yeah it's probably a bad idea.

[retlawlliw]

Yeah, maybe get your drinking together, but fuck AA. They'll just tell you that you're weak and can't do it without submitting yourself to a power higher than yourself.

Drinking and emotional problems is why LOTS of girls leave...

I was suggesting AA as a way for him to make friends, not necessarily get clean, but yeah it's probably a bad idea.

doesn't AA try to say you need to accept christ into your life to get sober? fuck that.

[neck_cannon]

been going to AA for two years, am two years sober, yes individuals there wish for you to get into christ to get sober. But... I've been going for two years, I've been leading the same meeting for about a year, I'm two years sober... STILL GODLESS.

[Pete > You]

Man, I know, right? That's the worst part. I'm fully aware that I'm being an idiot, yet I still do this to myself. Sometimes I suck.

We've all been there. You know this whole "I love her against my better judgment" thing isn't true. You know how I know?

She was really emotionally abusive. I guess we both were, in different ways. I at least felt like I was trying to be mature, communicative, and trying make things work. She just hid from all our problems. Also, she was constantly belittling me around other people and she didn't care for my peace of mind. Like, she'd go out on a night when I had to work the next day, say she'd be home by ten, then not show up until 3:00 without any word, all fucked up and without her key. She did that EVERY DAY. It was a fundamental lack of respect on her part, I think. She didn't care if she worried me.

[412Wolfpack]

wow, this all sounds pretty familiair ;
Decided to stop seeing the girl I dated 3 months ago, we had some strange texting in between, then I saw her again and everything was still the same as the last time I saw her
it sucks, I tried to move on, even hooked up with another ex (who apparently still likes me after two years of no contact) two weeks ago, but it's just not the same feeling, I even did not contact her these last weeks, because I think it's unfair to give her the impression that I love her (because I don't, obviously)

[Jakey LIAF]

start dating outside of the punk/hardcore community. your problems will be solved.

all of the best/most chilled out women listen to pop country and are christian. and no offense to the gal poster(s) on this board, but what they lack in music taste they usually make up for in charm and ability to handle emotionally-charged situations.

[412Wolfpack]

lol 'another ex' listened mostly to screamo and polvo, she was way more emotionally stable than the last girl who mostly listened to singer songwriter and poppunk (but she was openminded and was cool with a lot of indie-emo)

[thesilentarmy]

start dating outside of the punk/hardcore community. your problems will be solved.

all of the best/most chilled out women listen to pop country and are christian. and no offense to the gal poster(s) on this board, but what they lack in music taste they usually make up for in charm and ability to handle emotionally-charged situations.

hahaha.

You can find some good ones in the indie/indiepop masses that are more tolerable. But in my experience, you're SOOOOOO right about girls into hardcore/punk. I'm not trying to throw out a sweeping generalization, but in my experience, it has been exactly that -- emotionally-charged situations do not go over well. Hell, I'm not good in emotionally charged situations. That's why a more level girl is good for me.

Honestly, I haven't really found one of these, so I just settle.

Actually, I'm sort of involved with like three girls in different places. I was never like that before my ex-fiance left... I was always a one woman guy. Always. But now I'm just like... "They're always going to leave me. It's stupid to throw all of myself into one." it's not like I lie to them and cheat and make promises that I'm not keeping. I just don't talk about it all... Although, with one girl, it is getting close to the whole, "Maybe I want to get serious," but then she's going back to Finland for a year. So I'm saved from that.

I don't trust people anymore.